The 13 Best Things About Coming Home After Living Abroad

Yes it is hard coming home after leaving your another "home". You'll suffer some of this feeling. When you arrived, you think this is a place you should be familiar with, a place you can sighed with relief but then you realized half of your mind and heart wish you are back somewhere else. But after few days thinking and prefer staying at home, your common logic and common sense start work well again. The dark cloud slowly gone. The day you were longing to hear the bird waking you up in the morning finally comes. Busy and crowded street is not making you headache anymore and you finally see the beauty of your country and see something good(again) like this :

1. Suddenly becomes rich after you change the money into Rupiah. But then, you remember how much you spend dollar on that heels and it feels "ouch!"

2. Way cheaper of living cost. You becomes richer when you start converting the menu in dollar and rupiah. My usual lunch in America can buy me a favorite food three times including give a treat to friends.

3. Eating your favorite food again. For me, my city offers the best cuisine. Tekwan from Palembang, Sate Padang from West Sumatera, Bakso and Soto. Every bite of this food made me fall in love again.

4. Having breakfast ready for me, lunch as requested and dinner for me. I never have to cut onion and go to kitchen anymore. Thanks Mom!

5. Karaokeing is never feel this good.

6. Salon is cheap and abundant. $10 = Full body massage + Body Scrub + Creambath = HEAVEN!

7. Mostly people say "I miss my bedroom the most". But not me, I can sleep under any circumstances. But when it comes to restroom, I am more picky. Coming back to the old restroom where I can take bath as long as I want, playing music out loud and singing like no one hear, doing "business" in where I used to be and pretty sure there is no line waiting for me is amazing.

6.To see family and friends again. My day to day routine is to meet my family, sharing the stories and gave the souvenir. People are so excited at least to see you again and see how you changed and have a chance to comment tease you "Wow you looks tan!" "You gained some weight!"

7. People look up on you. People someone that able to go outside the country, either work or study. They think I must be really smart or rich. Sometimes it feels good to be the role model for others and you gained some popularity.

10. Sorting the picture, pin, sticker or anything you brought and remembering those great moment and cost you hours to sitting and smiling alone. FYI, when I write this post I haven't finish unpack my luggages. I left some excitement for other days.

8.  Here's come the new opportunity. As I explained in number 6 you can really use this opportunity to "sell" yourself on resume, sharing in the forum or at least write your "tips and trick" in blog just like me.

9. Riding motorbike. I had a dream to ride a harley davidson motorbike in USA. A big one, with high boots, jeans and head band while letting my hair blow by wind and we're listening the country music. Unfortunately It was never happen to me. So at least riding my old, noisy with heavily smoke motor cycle can cure some of the itches. Strolling around my city and remembering the special places where I used to play is the same like opening an old album.

10. Wherever I go, the landscape is dominant by green color and blue sky. I really love desert, but when the sun is up, I wish to stay under a big green tree not cactus.

11. No more language barrier. Even 10 months in America couldn't erase my accent and it feels so good not have to say "Pardon?" and ask people to repeat what they said.

12. A new perspectives and knowledge. Having been exposed with so many things that are new, broaden my horizon. Now I know Sahara desert is not the only one, Sonora desert is also beautiful. Ghana is the name of country and I see things in many ways. Tell me something, and my mind will compare it in many ways i've seen. In indonesia we have bread with jam, Australia has vegemite and Americas has peanut butter jelly.

13. Not taking something for granted. Like this program, everything in this world has their expired date. Nothing remains the same except the changes. I tend to be appreciate things and people. I will think this is might be my last time with them, I might go travel again and what happen if I return home and everything not the way it is? Ok let make the most of it and left regret away.

What is your best thing happened after coming home?

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The 20 Hardest Things About Coming Home After Living Abroad

This post is inspired by this beautifully written piece on Thought Catalog.
While I can't relate to all of what the blogger said in this post, most of it I can relate to. I lived in Australia (2 months) and USA (10 months). Before I went to that country, I always had a pre-departure orientation to prepared myself for a new world out there. I did a great job in adjusting to the new culture and way of living...until it was time to go back to Indonesia.

I've been told how hard it is to merge these new cultures and ways of being and thinking into my native culture and I tried to... just to fit in.

Some might find it harder on the others depending on their situation back home. From my personal experiences here are the 19 hardest things to adjust to when I go back home after living abroad :

1. I have had dreams where in my family, city, country, whatever it may be has changed for the good — and then waking up and realizing that, at least for now, everything still remains the same, if not perhaps worse.

2. I got used to with the BIG size of everything (meal, clothes, house, road etc) and so I found my house and my old room had gotten smaller.

3. Remembering my friends saying "Please keep in touch" and realizing it's a great effort to do so because everyone has their own lives and I can't expect them to say "Hi" everyday. Even though I long for that exact thing!

4. You will hear me says "But in America..." and then people will think I am bragging or sort of. And then they will say "But this is not America." and think I've become Americanized.

5. I have begun to put particular song in my playlist to bring back the memories and end up repeat it again and sobbing.

6. Play a youtube video, and if I spot a tourist place where I have been, I will get excited - but have no one to share it with.

7. It is dilemma to be treated so well by my host families, coordinator, support team member and fellow participant/student. They become my family, and it hurts to say goodbye.

8. It was a once-in-a-lifetime-experience. In saying that i mean it literally. Even if I can afford it, the experience will never be the same. Time passes, life changes and that experience will forever remain a "once in a life time" memory.

9. I must go back to being the favorite target of mosquito.

10. While my English is not yet great, now my Indonesian language has also messed up. I talk in between, mixed with two languages and only my fellow friend that had been through the same journey understand my alien language.

11. The romantic relationship doubled the pain. Timezone and distance tripled the pain.

12. The bucket list is getting long because I have to visit many people in their home country.

13. When going through my scraps of memories, I have a hard time selecting which brochure, map, pictures, card, prints to be keep and which will end up in the trash.

14. Losing passion and being lazy for a while. I remembered not unpack my two excess luggage for as long as I can, thinking maybe I will go there again...someday.

15. Feel jealously for someone who go there and thinking If only they have something urgent and I can replace their position.

16. I don't usually eat some particular food, but then I realize I errr miss it!

17. Regretting not make some time to visit the place I want to go, people I want to visit, food I want to try and something that now I could not do it anymore.

18. For someone that came from third world country, having a fast internet conncetion is a privilege. Now I had to face reality again and not be able to watch youtube without buffering.

19. Fearing that being forgotten by people I left behind because the program is over, I pack my luggage, back to my own country while the new replacement comes. 

20. I missed my sister's wedding, my grand mother and auntie passed away, my brother moved out - and I couldn't turn back time.

In the end,

"Realizing that you’re not really sure what “home” is anymore, because even though this is technically where you come from, you’re not sure you fit into the shape of the puzzle piece that you left behind. In a lot of ways, your time abroad felt much more like home, and maybe you won’t ever really feel settled until you can actually call it that — even if you’re all too familiar with how difficult immigration is. Being where you belong, maybe not today but someday, is something you’re willing to work for." - Chelsea Fagan

It takes time, patience and effort to call Jambi once again, Home.

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Keliling Jakarta Gratis

Mau jalan jalan ke Jakarta?
Baru mikirinnya aja saya sudah gelisah. Pasalnya ke mana mana macet. Kalau nggak penting penting, saya nggak bakal deh ke Jakarta. Nggak heran jadinya walau sudah berkali kali ke Jakarta, saya tetap tidak punya niat meng-explore Jakarta.

Tetapi saya mendengar kabar bahwa per tanggal 24 Februari 2014, di Jakarta telah tersedia bus wisata gratis yang bernama bus City Tour dengan dua tingkat seperti layaknya di kota Solo. Wah gak heran soalnya gubernur yang menjabat saat itu yakni Jokowi juga salah satu pelopor bus tingkat werkudara solo.

Bus Stop di dekat Bundaran HI

Baru pada pertengahan mei ini saya punya kesempatan mencobanya. Bus berwarna biru ini hanya menaikkan dan menurunkan penumpang di tempat yang telah ditentukan. Untuk mudahnya tinggal cari saja papan petunjuk seperti yang terlihat di gambar. Waktu berhentinya susah untuk diprediksi mengingat kondisi jalanan Jakarta jadi kalau mau yah standby terus yah karena bus juga tidak berhenti menunggu tetapi akan langsung jalan bila melihat tidak ada orang / tidak ada yang melambai lambai pertanda ingin naik.

 Berikut halte serta rute bus yang akan dilalui :
1. Bundaran HI
2. Sarinah Department Store
3. Museum Nasional
4. Sekolah Santa Maria
5. Gedung Kesenian
6. Masjid Istiqlal
7. Gedung Merdeka
8. Monas
9. Balaikota


Selama tur kurang lebih sejauh 11 kilometer, bus ini dilengkapi dengan pemandu tur yang memberikan informasi mengenai atraksi/bangunan yang dilewati. Sayangnya hanya tersedia dalam bahasa Indonesia. Kalau ada bule, mungkin dia hanya bisa angguk angguk saja.

Secara keseluruhan, tur dengan bus ini hanya membutuhkan waktu 1 jam bergantung dengan macet atau tidaknya ibukota. Dari pantauan saya, siapapun boleh naik bus ini. Sehingga jangan heran kalau masyarakat ibukota di sekitar lokasi ini sangat diuntungkan karena mereka punya moda transportasi yang ber-AC kencang, bersih dan gratis.

Sumber : Wonderful Indonesia

Bus ini beroperasi setiap hari dari pukul 07.00 - 19.00 WIB.

Sekali lagi, tak peduli apakah anda turis ataupun non turis jangan lewatkan kesempatan berkeliling Jakarta tanpa harus merisaukan macet dan panasnya Jakarta.

Selamat berpetualang!

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The Warrior

Wooden Sandal - Picture by Kim

 “Here it is,” said Kim, handing me the wooden sandal.

The  sandal is as small as my palm. The color is blue and faded a little bit. It has a flower on its strap in the right side.

“Which one did your parents bring?” I asked.

Kim is humming and holding one of the sandals in each hand and flipping it back and forth.

“I think the one in good condition,” Kim said.

This is not a common conversation for people who barely know each other. I planned my trip to Buffalo aiming to watch Niagara Falls. One of my friends recommended her good friend, Kim and asked her if I can stay for two nights. The first day I arrived at the airport, I saw a middle-aged man holding a sign “Selamat Datang Lenny”. Not only that. Once I came to their house, Kim’s family was ready to serve me with fried rice and noodles. I feel home in a minute.

Maybe because we are the same Asian, we were able to talk like we are a family. Kim’s dad continued the sandal’s story. When Kim’s dad was in college, Vietnam went to war to fight with their own people. It was mandatory for everyone to go to war, including women. Even though they don’t serve in the front line, they helped cook or perform administrative jobs. Kim’s dad joined military school for two years and became a first lieutenant.

“It is just like the North Korean and South Korean war,” he exclaimed.

The North won because they got help from China, the biggest communist country in the world.

After they lost, Kim’s dad was put in a concentration camp. They moved to several places and had to do hard labor work. After three years in the concentration camp, Kim’s dad was released but under one condition, he can’t go outside the country.

Kim’s dad was determined that his life would not be based on what Government said. Along with his friend, they paid someone to build a boat to escape. On September 19, 1979, in the very early morning, the mission was executed. Kim’s parents took three years old Kims’s sister and left the house to pursue a better life and future. They trust no other about their plan. They don’t want to leave the country, but this is the only option they have.

Unfortunately, Kim’s grandmother caught them running away.

“Please don't take my grandchild,” she begged.

But, the decision was made and there’s no way they can undo the action. Kim’s mom ran away and Kim’s sister dropped one of the sandal.

Everything was so rushed so they can’t pick up the sandal and let the crying grandmother take it as her memory of her first grandchild that probably she wouldn’t ever had the chance to see anymore. She believed by taking a boat there is a greater possibility to drown than escaping alive. It was a gamble.

They were robbed by pirates twice and faced storm along the way. But because of Kim’s dad friend that used to be Maritime Navy, they managed to escape to Malaysia. But, the Vietnam’s government was not happy knowing he ran away. He became wanted person in their homeland. Feeling not on guard, once again Kim’s Dad took the family moved further away. They went to Germany, but still not feel safe enough.

Finally, Kim’s family choose to settled in America, a place they can be a proud citizen. Kim was born here and truly fortunate to embraced American Dream. Part of his Vietnam heritage are limited only to the way she looks. She drank Dr.Pepper while we drank tea. She swore “Shit” once in five minutes when The GPS was broke and we lost. The only Vietnamese language she taught me is “Kamang” means thank you.

Back in the house, I sit quietly watching Kim’s Dad narrow eyes hoping him to tell the rest of the story. I was wondering how he feels nowadays after years and years away.

“They can arrest me psychologically, but will never brainwash me” he pointed to his head that was starting to lose hair. In the meantime, his eyes looked on the old Vietnam flag he used to salute.

“This is the flag we used before Communists took over the country,” he said

 The flag is all yellow with a red line in the middle of the flag. The flag will remain hanging on the wall as well as in his heart.

“I love Vietnam, but I just hate the people that run the country.” Kim’s dad ends the story.

In 2010, Kim’s dad build up the courage to visit Vietnam. That was when finally the sandal – and family - reunited.

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American Culture Shock

Everyone has their own way to experience living outside of their comfort zone. The easiest way to experience it is by traveling abroad. Here is some of the example of American culture shock. They miss eating American breakfast, miss Kleenex more than ever before and miss laughing at only their own jokes that no one understand.

 “I think the biggest challenges when I visited other countries are I am not familiar with their customs. I did not know that it was considered rude in Thailand when I crossed my legs so that the bottom of my foot was facing my host. In Israel I called out the wrong word when someone sneezed so instead of wishing them good health I told them I would see them later. A few times I wore shorts and t-shirts only to be turned away at religious sites or been given a long robe to cover up.“ Ricki Robuck Light said.

Light found the most disturbing aspects of culture shock was witnessing the poverty that other people around the world have to contend with on a daily basis. 

  

“I was particularly disturbed in Rio when dining in a restaurant and children come up to the window and beg for money or food.” Light said.

In other side, Trevor Kuntz is an American that had been traveled to Canada and many countries in Europe shared his story encountered with racism.

"I feel that in the U.S. racism is often more subtle, but I have encountered much more direct racism for example not letting Korean-Americans into clubs in Latvia or clubs in the Czech Republic. The second would be experiencing what it is like to be in a minority. In my time in Tanzania, I felt very conspicuous and people on the street commented that I looked like I was from Obama country. They probably did not mean anything negative, but it still made me feel very conspicuous and as a private person who likes to blend into crowds, I felt a bit uncomfortable and vulnerable.”Kuntz said.

 Annette Bouw, another American shared her culture shock in the restaurant.

 “Being charged for every pat of butter in the principality of Lichtenstein 27 years ago, was a culture shock. In the U.S. if they put something on the table without asking you, it’s free.” Bouw said.

Others says :

"I'm originally from a small German-American town in southern Minnesota where greetings did not include hugging and kissing on the cheeks. Needless to say, traveling to Latin America the first few times ended up in quite a few awkward moments, missed cheeks, smashed noses, and half-hugs!" Therese Tendick said.

"I really enjoyed the 'controlled chaos' of Kathmandu when I went there to do a trek to Mt. Everest base camp. The narrow and crowded streets packed with cars, pedicabs, tourists, street vendors, you name it. I only saw two traffic lights in the city the whole time I was there, and the rule of thumb for any vehicle was...if there's an open space and you're headed that way take it! It didn't matter if it was on the wrong side of the road either. After a few days I realized that this system really did work. People learned the system and just went with it. There was no horn honking or yelling at the other vehicle or person involved...just awesome to witness! In the USA that would never work, there would be incessant horn honking, arguments and probably road rage shootings!" Al Potter said.

I found out that not everyone had to go through a culture shock and it is totally fine. The funny part is actually you don’t have to experience culture shock outside the states, but most likely can happen in your own country like this :

 “I moved to Iran when I was 15 and didn't experience any culture shock. The first time I ever experienced culture shock was when I moved out into the countryside in Wisconsin years later.“ Nancy Thew said.

 Or reverse culture shock like this :

"It was difficult returning to US after being in Kenya for 4 years. It was strange not to see people walking along the roads & highways; I found myself driving on the wrong side of the road a couple of times; the shopping malls were overwhelming which so much clothing. I think that when I went to Kenya I expected it to be different and I had gone through 6 weeks of training including culture shock issues. Upon returning to the US I assumed I knew my country and was really surprised at how it all seemed so different." Gayla Register said.

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What is your culture shock American? Share with us!

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